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That Church Cat

The Gantt Report:

Felines are some of the world’s most predatory animals but which one is at the top of the list?

Well, people say the lion is the King of the Jungle but could the predatory feline king be the tiger?

Perhaps, the puma, jaguar, cheetah, mountain lion or even the Black Panther could be most predatory.

If you picked any of the felines listed above you would be as wrong as wrong could be.

The most predatory cat in the world is the one sitting next to you on the queen sized bed, that domestic house cat!

That cat that you know and love will attack any animal that is smaller than the cat is. Birds, mice, fish, lizards, squirrels and other similarly sized animals are terrified of cats.

There is one animal type that cats enjoy the most. Cats love to run up on a long, thick snake!

Cats will stalk a snake, wrestle with a snake, fuss and fight with a snake, scratch and bite a snake. And then, the cats will bring the snake home and plant the snake right at your doorway.

There is something about cats and snakes that make them want to mess around with each other as much as they can and as often as they can.

But when a cat gets older they may not be as fast as they once were. They stray away from the yard, they avoid the alley, they stop running wild and they search for cat sanctuary!

When cats become middle-aged they go where the mice go, they go to church! Don’t act like you’ve never heard the saying, “As quiet as a church mouse”!

Every first Sunday the pews in African-American churches are full of cats, rubbing up against the deacons, purring to the sounds of old-time gospel songs and waiting on their servings of grape juice and soda crackers!

Cats already have nine lives so if not to be born again why do older cats frequent the church?

Maybe cats think they will find a church snake. I just don’t know.

However, I do know church cats love to purr about goodness and mercy.

They want to be saved from that hood snake, the alley ways and the THOT spots!

Good for the church cats! But no matter how much they lick themselves clean, have their paws and claws done or how much they talk that soft and sweet cat talk after the benediction, the right snake will have the church cats screaming and singing like Shirley Caesar and Yolanda Adams!

Just like humans, a cat doesn’t have to join a church to go to heaven. All a cat has to do is love God and love his neighbors and be the best cat she can be.

You can take a cat out of the alley and put her in the church but you can’t take the alley out of the cat!

If you rub a cat where it wants to be rubbed, fix her a Special Kitty dinner, put a Katt Williams DVD in the video player and a little Teddy or Luther on the CD player, you might just make that old cat feel young again!

Church cats get lonely too!

Buy Gantt’s latest book, “Beast Too: Dead Man Writing” on and from bookstores everywhere. Contact Lucius at And, if you want to,“Like” The Gantt Report page on Facebook.

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