DEAR DATING QUEEN,
Yesterday, I came home on my lunch break and caught my man in bed with another man! I was shocked to see him lying there in our bed with another man. I yelled “Omg, what are you doing?” “Wait, baby I can explain” he said. I was so disgusted I ran out of the room and down the stairs. He followed me into the kitchen and said “Sorry baby he seduced me.” I slapped him and told him to be gone when I return home from work. Now he’s calling me all the time apologizing and insisting we stay together for the kids. I feel like a fool. I should’ve known he was on the down low. Should we stay together and get counseling or should I let him go?
-My Man Is Down Low
DEAR MY MAN IS DOWN LOW,
Bi-sexuality is a choice so, don’t beat yourself up for not knowing your man was on the down low. There are many men living on the down low unbeknownst to their wives or girlfriends. You now know the truth so just move on. He betrayed your trust and a relationship without trust cannot survive. It’s best you and your man part ways peacefully.
For the sake of the kids don’t tell them or anyone else the reason why you broke up. Forgive him for your own sake, because bitterness and emotional baggage are heavy burdens to carry. After a breakup it is wise to go to the doctor and get tested.
This is a flashback for me! My husband was a pastor and on the down low. He was sleeping with a young gentleman in the church. Shortly after this came out, he decided to take his own life. We had two kids (one was brought into the marriage.)The entire situation was difficult to go through, but I found healing and solace in writing. My book, The Upside of the Down Low, a Pastor’s Wife’s Memoir highlights many things taboo in our community. And it has the ‘come home from lunch’ scene in there, too.
Yolanda,
Thank you for sharing your comment. I will let my readers know about your book.
Stay blessed,
Diomi
I first learned about your book, by your interview. From what you mention from the interview it was new to you being from the South, a PK, about Gays, and men on the Down Low. Now days it’s no secret that a person is Gay it’s their way of life. I was born and raise up North. Later on in life I met a guy, there were some strange things about him that I felt was tasteless, his statement toward women were degrading, this happen when he would drink, and to the point we had some heated discussions on this and I ended the relationship. Learned there were a lot of women he was dating. He gotten one of them pregnant, and later married another one of the women’s that ended in divorce. “So,the last time I saw him he mention being gay.” Yolanda, you know for yourself the Holy Spirit, give us free will. From what you had share with us, regarding your experiences with your husband, has been closed. You have a new chapter in your life now and the Holy Spirit has send down all your blessings.
God Bless,
Shirley