Bracing Myself for Impact!

Attitudinal brutality has run amok!

Being a “nerd” for solace, I often “shift gears” by searching for the winding country lanes that most city slickers find distastefully boring, painfully slow, and dreadful. Long to smell the fresh scents from cow manure and frequently veto running the van’s air conditioner in favor of feeling a gentle breeze blowing my salt and pepper hair across my forehead and neck. As a treat, must end each excursion by dropping in to play peek-a-boo at the general store’s candy counter.

Still country at heart!

Sauntering past the “old timers,” always become struck by their genuine neighborliness. Folks in these parks are still interested in inquiring about the state of one’s health and about the welfare of the family. Failure to exchange pleasantries, greetings, expressions, or even howdy is akin to blasphemy. Smile each time when I hear strangers being invited to “sit a spell.”

While others are maniacally whizzing by or fussing about minute trivialities, these folks’ viewfinders have been readjusted to reflect a lifestyle that has nearly vanished from our lexicon.

Sadly, the art and science of being abrupt and resembling vultures has replaced the basic tenets of being respectful, displaying politeness, and showing congeniality!

Call me a dinosaur. Call me old-fashioned. Call me out-of-date. Call me hokey. Or, just call me a fuddy-duddy. Regardless, this “antique” desperately seeks, craves, and longs for interacting with plain folks who know how to show a tiny bit of decency, class, and home-grown manners!

Don’t you?

Each day that I am awake, I “brace myself for impact.” Whether communication exchanges takes place via the television, radio, telephone, any computer technology, or even in-person, apparently we have become a bunch of crazed and dysfunctional “yahoos” who delights in the demonstrativeness of the absurdity, crassness, tackiness, and abrasiveness.

Goes without saying, but my Christian doctrine is frequently tested when interacting with some of these insidious punks!

Putting religion aside, I am becoming more empathetic to the “whys” of suicide and even more understanding as to why Michael Jackson found his sanctuary and escape route through the use of Propofol. It is because, slowly, we have become a nation of disrespectful low-lifers and smart alecks who seemingly do not give a rat’s ass about peoples’ feelings or emotions. Consequently, fragile folks who are often marginalized sense these slights and insensitivities and feel that there is no other recourse but to silence their hopelessness by quietly fading into oblivion.

Tragic!

I envy people like my husband. He receives three retirement checks monthly without ever having to move from one side of the bed to the other. If he so chooses, he also does not have to engage with anyone, forevermore. Consequently, he happily glides through life effortlessly contented while ignoring, overlooking, and tolerating much more nonsensical irritations and discourteousness than I do.

Must be nice!

Conversely, regardless of how much of my outgoing Christian personality that is expended or the “warm glow” that I am known for instilling into people, notwithstanding, most times I still get an abridged version of “Gertrude Grudge, Larry Lazy, Harriet Hurry, and Evilene.” Hence, as a non-retiree, it becomes more difficult and next to impossible for me to want to face the world the next day with a Joel Osteen’s upbeat spirit and ingratiating smile when you have to navigate your way, day-in and day-out, around these satanic and belligerent jerks!

I am not alone!

Talked with some sister-friends who concurred with my views. Seemingly, the values and Biblical commandments that were taught to us by our elders as children have somehow skipped a couple of generations. Apparently, to some of these kids it is “old school” to display respectful standards, positive rules of life, and guiding principles that was a staple in our upbringing. Today, it’s “cool” to shrug-off and dodge any resemblance of gentlemen-like and lady-like behavior and conduct.

Need some of my paternal grandmother’s “board” of education on their naked behinds. Worked every time with us!

No, I am not paranoid nor do I possess a long list of idiosyncrasies. I am just someone who is advocating for some “sweet honey on the rock” treatment from members of society every once in a while. For starters, how about:

1. Answering telephone calls and responding promptly to e-mail queries and requests.

2. Reflect that you are grateful that you have another day of life.

3. Be ecstatic that you get a paycheck!

4. Refrain from putting a “wish bone” where a “back bone” should be!

5. Honor promises and commitments.

6. Speak to people and sincerely mean it.

7. Smile!

8. Help someone without personally gaining from the favor.

9. Be a role model.

10. Befriend someone from another race, ethnic group, or culture.

11. Act or pretend to be friendly.

12. Stop holding grudges. Be the first to say hello to people.

Obviously, this is not my entire “make-over” list. Could go on and on, but at the moment, don’t want to overwhelm you. Just want to start you off slowly by giving you, incrementally, achievable goals.

Yep, I am afraid that the “Mayberry” existence that I long for can only be found off of those country roads. With regularity, constantly find myself yearning to interact daily with some of those “backwards” folks who always find the time to unselfishly give others some of their homespun hospitality.

Also, find it so intoxicatingly refreshing to hob-nob with souls who do not have enough education to conjugate their verbs properly, but if you are in a pinch, they possess an overabundance of humanity and would not hesitate to give you the “shirts off of their backs.”

If Whitney Houston, Brittney Spears, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan are a sampling or representation of the end result that I should expect to find once I reach the pinnacle of success, then I will “brace myself for impact” by quickly abandoning ship and hibernate with those folksy “old timers” who can be found off of some dusty country road somewhere between hither and yonder!