“Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn’t sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned—the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared pass the trees…
Happy Eating to all! Pass the cranberries, please!”
Author Unknown
As the proud spouse of a military veteran (retired Navy Chief), my eyes often glistens as my husband recounts his military accomplishments, achievements, victories, milestones, and prowess. He, as well as, others who gallantly sacrificed their lives on behalf of America is to be admired, honored, saluted, and revered!
Often roar with riotous laughter as Nicholas’ comedic stories stroke my funny bone whenever he talks about “off the wall stuff” like the saga of the “buffarillas.”
Buffarillas is a colloquial word used to describe the military wives aka “thick chicks” who gluttonously allow food to pounce on their once svelte bodies or caloric intakes to sneakily invade their protruding waist lines and voluminous butts thus becoming barely recognizable to their husbands.
Hehehehehehe——-Can’t you imagine the ghastly site of a combinable buffalo and a gorilla?
Intervention needed at aisle 13!
My “tall drink of water” aka husband is lean and mean. Don’t know if it is due to his military background, his genetics, his perspectives about healthy living, or his innate ability and conditioned detachment to anything eatable. Enviously, Nicholas is so strong-willed he can instantly and emphatically say “no” to anything that tantalizes his sense of smell and taste.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, tempts his palate, seduces his taste buds, entices his cravings, or weakens his resolve!
The boy is bad!
In addition to the avoidance or the consumption of insatiable foods, drinks, and desserts, Nicholas’ stick-to-itiveness is legendary as he is also able to forego anything that does not promote good physical, mental, or emotional wellness, health, and nutrition such as liquor, drugs, gambling, or even tobacco products! Frankly, I guess his only Achilles’ heel, indulgence, and addiction is solely me—–hehehehehehehe!
Which brings me to the issue of being “huge,” “supersized,” and “fat!”
Cellulite is unattractive. Cellulite is unhealthy. Cellulite kills. There is no ifs, ands, or buts about it— gorging at the table as if the apocalypse is coming today is not a justifiable reason for resembling a 300-pound gorilla, a humongous Beluga whale, a fatty beast, or a buffarilla!
Bottom-line, we need to employ dietary constraints and to be more conscientious about the state of our health!
Did you know that there is a preponderance of companies refusing to hire applicants simply because they are morbidly obese? Did you know that there is a preponderance of insurance companies who are also denying benefits coverage to participants who exceed their optimal height and weight requirements?
Are you aware of employees who are being discriminated against because of the heftiness of their bodies? Are you aware of a preponderance of studies that aptly detail gross pay differences of physically-fit employees versus the overweight ones? Can you infer who gets paid the most?
The skinny people—-duh!
Have you read the testimonies from people who have been recipients of offensive confidence-killing jokes or those who have been victimized from bullying, insulting remarks, or who were incessantly teased because of being a plus-size? Have you read about a preponderance of evidence where a “chubby” person’s price of admission on public transportation such as on an airplane is more expensive?
We agree. Being called a “buffarilla” or any other name is very hurtful. However, putting your head in the proverbial sand by not addressing your weight and health crises is rabidly insane, too!
So, do me a “big” favor. Don’t wait until January 1, 2013 to make another resolution to exercise and to eat moderately-proportioned meals. Reap the benefits now, and rewards now, by doing it now!
Remember, success is the best revenge and the “perfect comeback” to jokesters and pranksters is by excavating that vivacious goddess that’s within.
And, that, my friend, would be soooooooo delicious!
