No matter the situation, the manner in which we “appear” determines the true message.
Think about it for a second… just about every day we encounter individuals (and groups) who give off conflicting messages. Heck, the person behind the burger counter to a small gathering at a mall—no matter the size or situation, the onlooker perceives and creates his or her own reality based upon what is SEEN, not heard.
When was the last time you recorded a video of yourself? Is the person you see the same person you think? In the not too distant past, I was a featured career guest on a local radio show. Several days after the 45-minute appearance, I listened to the taped recording…. Need I say more?
Practice makes perfect
Because most forms of nonverbal communication are practiced subconsciously, the best way to get rid of bad habits is to become aware of them. Get a friend or a family member to practice interview situations with you. Using a video camera to tape mock sessions can be even more helpful. Play the video with a critical and detached eye.
Ask yourself, “What would I like or dislike about this person nonverbally? What’s making me feel comfortable, making me feel like I can build rapport with this person?” Get your mock interviewer to ask tough questions that would make you nervous and susceptible to bad body language. Notice what you do under pressure and become conscious of it… awareness is half the battle.
Speaking as such, let’s take a look at a few nonverbal cues offering more than passing insight: (by understanding the “other” person’s perception, you won’t have to listen to what your interviewer is saying – watch his or her body language, it can reveal how the interview is going.)
- If the interviewer touches his or her nose, they are disapproving somewhat of what you are saying.
- If he or she looks at their watch or shuffles papers, you’re off track.
- If he or she leans toward you, they are engaged, listening and taking you seriously.
- If he or she is leaning back into the chair, they are evaluating you with a critical eye.
- If your interviewer suddenly switches gears – from relaxing in the chair to sitting upright, for example – you may have said something they need to evaluate from a different perspective.
- You can tell a difficult question is coming if the interviewer places his fingertips together in an upright, steeple-like fashion. This signals that he or she has disconnected from you and is thinking of what they will say next. They may be considering how to say something unpleasant or uncomfortable, or how to ask a difficult, emotionally-charged question.
- If the interviewer stands up, the interview is over.
Take the above hints with you and ace your interview, proposal, or next meeting. By recognizing outward signs, huge benefits can come to pass.
dhuffman, MA, CPRW, CPCC, CEIP
if you have any questions, feel free to make comments on this site or contact me directly at [email protected].
