Remember Flip Wilson?
Flip was an iconic black comedienne who was best known for his masterful jokes, rhythmic comedic routines, and unforgettable characters. He was also known for the “killer” quote “What you see is what you get!”
So, for a moment, close your eyes. Keep those eyes shut tightly. Here goes.
What is your imagery of Gov. Chris Christie?
Be honest.
If the truth is being told, unfortunately, what you “see” and “get” from Chris Christie is a caricature of a man who is a double-wide Shamu, gargantuan, roly-poly, beluga, and a slap-stick wanna be who sometimes teeters on being an infelicitous, scrappy smart-azz or class clown and not a polished statesman or presidential contender.
Ouch!
For the record, I am a huge (no pun intended) fan and admirer of Gov. Christie. I also happen to like him a helluva lot. Like me, he has an infectious and spontaneous personality and is not afraid to tell, give, or serve it Jersey style—straight, direct, and to the point! In addition, he appears to be someone whom I would invite over for pizza, beer, and for some delicious ice cream.
That’s the rub!
Chris has been digesting too many pizzas, consumed too much ice cream, and apparently everything else in between! This guy truly knows how to be a human garbage disposal, and just like a Boy Scout, diligently demonstrates the thou shall “clean my plate” rule very well!
However, any forthright consultant would tell him that “sex sells” and if he plans to vie for the highest office in the land, he needs to lose the freaking girth. Technically, he thinks that his weight issue will not mushroom over his campaign like a blooming onion—-but who is he kidding?
His voluminous size has become a side-show!
Like most obese people, Gov. Christie is extremely sensitive and downright temperamental when the subject of his weight is broached. Most food addicts, when confronted with the truth and reality about their addiction, will become extremely combative and, unforgivably, react rabidly towards adversaries.
Chris is no exception!
However, there is help for his morbid obesity problem.
First, he needs to have an intervention so that he can come to terms with what’s (again, no pun intended) “eating” at him. Similarly to recovering alcoholics, he needs to admit that he has a serious medical problem and then submit to a workable health and wellness program which addresses his preponderance for emotionally eating.
Second, in conjunction with a prudent eating and rigorous exercise regiment, he should consider undergoing gastric bypass surgery. Although not a “cure-all” solution, this procedure would be a jump start to him ridding the excessive pounds sensibly.
Third, I would encourage Christie to refrain from the self-deprecating dry humor and the hellacious “fat” jokes. Every obese person is familiar with this defensive maneuver which is to attack others using dead-pan sarcasm.
Fourth, I presume that Chris enjoys having sex with his wife just as much as I adore having sex with my husband. However, one of the first rules of romantic engagement is being “eye candy” to your partner which stokes and elicits sexual arousal.
An excited man or woman wants to imagine what’s waiting behind those closed doors and then visualize what’s under those satin sheets. Sex therapist, Dr. Ruth, would agree that anticipating looking at cellulite resembling a two ton “elephant” is visually grotesque and disgusting nor does it pass the seduction and desirous phase let alone the “let’s get it on” test!
Lastly, companies, as well as, municipalities are rapidly enforcing restrictive weight requirements or implementing weight mandates in order to curb exorbitant insurance premiums. As the executive of the State of New Jersey, I would expect someone with Christie’s stature, literally and figuratively, to serve as a role model for other state employees who are challenged with weight issues by proactively doing something about it.
Serving in the Office of the President is a grueling, challenging, strenuous, and non-stop responsibility which demands, commands, and test one’s mental and physical endurance.
My hope is that Mayor Bloomberg, Mrs. Christie, or someone else “convinces” Gov. Chris Christie to revisit the conventional wisdom regarding his negative body image.
Convince him to implement some strategies for weight management now while he is not under the day-to-day national media scrutiny and before he further becomes the butt of jokes by the likes of Fallon, Letterman, and Leno.
Convince him that losing weight ensures his optimum performance as he gears up for his re-election as governor and as he prepares (I hope) for the presidential race.
Finally, convince Chris Christie that svelte trumps super-sized, stout, and seismic each and every time!
