“Secrets!”

Shhh! I have a “secret!”

Personally, not a huge fan of keeping “secrets” although I generally honor terms of confidentiality!

Oxymoron?

Maybe.

Hypocritical?

I suppose.

So by mid-life, decided to purge my emotional well of the stock pile of “secretive” intel that I had been harboring for years.

Looked for my confessions to bring me peace and the much desired serenity that I had so desperately sought. Looked for the truth to “set me free.” Looked forward to the release of my detestable pain and to the healing of those festering wounds. Looked for the deception to finally disappear.

Discovered that “coming out of the closet” isn’t for the “faint of heart!” Unearthing “secrets” inherently induces significant implications with long-lasting ramifications that may bring injuries to other relationships.

Frankly, in most cases, the potency of the “secrets” may irrevocably damage those meaningful relations for a lifetime.

Meanwhile…

Learned this week that I was not the only one lodging “secrets.”

Although he enjoyed considerable success as a writer and poet, the recent revelation of Hans Christian Andersen’s heartbreaking love “secret” saddened fairy tale aficionados and most romantics, alike!

What a damn travesty!

Records showed that Mr. Andersen was madly in love with an unattainable woman. In other words, his soul mate, admirer, and love interest was a married woman, Riborg Voigt.

OMG! Can you phantom having cravings for your heart throb for 43 agonizing, dreadful, and unfilled years?

That’s some crazy love!

Unfortunately, the only person who could extinguish their passionate desires to be a couple was Father Time.

Upon Voigt’s death, hidden in a compartment within her drawer were poems that Andersen had written along with his picture and a bouquet.

There were no winners…

Conversely, documents showed that for decades after her death Andersen carried a letter written by his soul mate tucked in a small pouch he wore strapped across his chest until the day he died.

Another Greek tragedy!

Taking poetic license, being that this relationship blossomed during the 1800’s I am certain they took extraordinary measures and extreme caution to keep their secret “on the down low.”

I am also imaging that, despite this character flaw, Mr. Andersen was absolutely a gentleman’s gentlemen which meant that, instead of wooing and seducing married Voigt, much to his chagrin and possibly to her ire, except for those love letters, he respectfully distanced himself from stoking the flame by refraining from clandestine rendezvous, participating in any forbidden conduct, and even by avoiding behaviors such as the exchange of a mere kiss.

Bet the only act permissible was a five-second hug!

Shucks. To most folks who are loooooooove-birds, a pack of wild horses couldn’t keep them corralled!

Why diddle-daddle?

Maybe I require intensive therapy, but at this juncture in my life my moral compass says, “Get the hell lost!”

In other words, expecting people to languish in a dead-end relationship disguised as a marriage similarly to what Prince Charles and Princess Di and perhaps scores of other couples do on a daily basis under the pretext of “staying together” is a suffocating sham, miserable tomfoolery, and a disastrous mockery to the institution and sanctity of marriage and to one’s mental, emotional, physical health, notwithstanding, the embodiment, exchange, and expression of genuine LOVE!

Further, as Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin famously sang, this beguiled attitude is a breeding ground for making “temptation strong and willpower weak” which obviously begets “secrets.”

Transparency is always scary and risky. Discovered that some time ago when I declassified one of my “secrets” to a family member. Took a deep breath and then nudged my soul to “open those doors.”

The anticipated response and suspense was killing me…

Needless to say, my family member was flabbergasted, shocked, speechless, and taken by total surprise. But on the other hand, once the information was digested, deduced, and processed, my family member responded with amazing sensitivity to my quandary and receptive to the extraordinary courage that it took for me to step out on faith by honestly disclosing this sacred information.

Did not take binoculars to see how relieved I was, too!

Although I had anticipated that the disclosure of the “secret” would strain and permanently ransack the kinship thus risking my sterling reputation, the opposite occurred. Happily, I was able to peel back layers upon layers of angst and decades of suppressed anxieties which essentially gave me radiance that I could never have purchased at the cosmetics counter!

Wahoo!

Albeit, revealing “secrets” is an enigma which may undoubtedly rob one of his or her innocence and may also have a psychological affect and relational impact, speaking strictly from my perspective, I strongly believe that “secrets “should be unlocked, unmasked, and respectfully revealed!