As a married woman I definitely empathize for my single women friends.
I hear their frustrations, fears, doubts and overall lack of faith in mankind. I get it! It’s tough to be single in a metropolitan city where the population of women outweighs the men.
Single women complain, and lament about the lack of available, professional, heterosexual, talented, attractive and athletic men. Based on their skepticism, you’d think these men were either extinct, or like some rare jewel that was impossible to find. In fact, let me give you an example of the mumbo jumbo that makes my ears bleed. I was recently at the beauty salon, and a group of ladies started discussing how hard it is to find a decent guy. I made several suggestions which included dating outside their race, on-line dating, or even blind dates arranged by friends—all to no avail.
As the irritation grew, I began to question myself, as if I had the problem. It was hard to understand how one could rant about being single, but be so unwilling to step out of the box and make some minor changes.
Look ladies, it’s bad enough that you’ve been single for years with no options, but it’s another thing to close yourself off because of preconceived notions, prejudices, and outright selfishness. As women, we often have extraordinary expectations, too many unnecessary demands and an exceedingly high amount of baggage we carry into our relationships. Typically, this holds us back and keeps us from finding the true love we are destined to have. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have standards—we better have them—but don’t make them so unattainable that only Jesus would meet the criteria.
Seriously, we all have fears, inhibitions and misplaced presumptions, but you can’t freely wear them on your sleeve as if they were some fine monogram that quickly identifies you from the next person. The greatest challenge is allowing ourselves to be open to new people, new experiences, new opportunities and a totally new mindset.
I’ve always found that when you meet someone new the only expectation to have is friendship, to be great friends—nothing more and nothing less. Let your guard down and see how that new friendship can blossom if you open your mind and heart to new and exciting things. When you remove the doubt, disgruntles and edginess, you allow yourself to be free and fearless.
We spend a lot of time and money to make the outside appear better, but we put very little into trying to change what’s on the inside. It takes a lot more courage, will and honesty to work on the inside, but ultimately, it makes the outside far more appealing.
I don’t mean to be harsh or judgmental, but I’m speaking the truth. I’m just saying, “Let go, move on and get over it,” or enjoy the single life for many years to come.
This is “real talk”! Read it and weep Enough with the I Can’t find…. Maybe it’s not the men…. Perhaps you need to figure out the common denominator in your failed relationships… maybe it’s YOU! Take some time to really work on you, the real you deep down inside and stop trying to be what you THINK he wants you to be. SMH “You betta talk Ms. Davis”. Now run and tell that!
So true Janean. I am an open minded individual. With my open mindeness, I went online to find friendship and to start dating. I started dating outside of my race and now he and are engaged to be married! If you want to move forward in life, then you need to think outside of the box or be stuck where you are for good. Stop complaining.