As a wordsmith, I fixate on words!
So, in the midst of another mom’s day when I felt like I was in the midst of Grand Central Station orchestrating another overwhelming avalanche of must do, have to, should do, and will do activities while being incessantly reminded of my steadily growing list of can’t do, I received an ominous letter.
It was from Pastor H.T. Rhim!
Lordy!
Simply, in Rhim-speak, my sabbatical from the church was much “too long!”
Goodness…where had four years gone?
Hehehehehehehehe!
Obviously, Pastor Rhim had thrown “down the gauntlet” by threatening (I meant gently admonishing) me to get back to church.
Or, soon and very soon, expect him and Mrs. Rhim to conduct a “drive by” on a forthcoming Sunday because they would be dragging (I meant accompanying) me to church.
Hehehehehehehehe!
Brought back memories of those “old days” when parents and grandparents did not mind forcing (I meant lovingly telling) their kids and grandkids that in their house church wasn’t an option.
Mercy!
Between you, me, and the gate post, knew that my octogenarian pastor was wise enough to know even if given a “month of Sundays” my inexhaustible list would still be much “too long” to satisfactorily complete within my lifetime.
And, he’s right!
So, when Pastor Rhim speaks, it’s in my best interest to listen.
And, I did.
Waved the “white flag” and will be returning to St. Joseph Baptist Church…..soon and very soon!
Hehehehehehehehe!
Meanwhile, simultaneously and at the same time…
Within a nanosecond of reading Pastor Rhim’s letter, received an influx of texts and telephone calls from sister-friends, Aleizah and Jackie.
Needless to say, my absence from their lives was also much “too long” and had been duly noted.
To my chagrin, both had decided that I had only a couple of days to resurface.
Or else…another drive by!
Goodness.
Preoccupied with day-to-day survival issues and its accompanying stressors, I began suffering from a guilt-complex as I have yet to assemble and publish my much-in-demand book. The outcry from my endearing fans and from my sister-publisher-friend eats at me daily. Constantly prodded by them that I am taking much “too long” in putting the finishing touches on this compelling project.
Admittedly, I stand accuse of being derelict in accomplishing some goals by a specific day or time. And, from their perspective I conceivably must be suffering from a state of slothfulness. One day, I hope that they will understand and accept the rhyme and reason for my disinclination to action.
For now, just know that recent events have forced me to shift my priorities and competing demands, challenges, and superficial commitments have become less and less important—-at the present moment.
Had to give renewed focus and energy to heart issues!
Subsequently…
What became most important to me was the demonstrativeness of my love for my daughter and especially to my soul mate who is the everlasting love of my life. Vowed, in the event that I lost my “memory,” these two individuals would never lose their “memories” of how much I adored and cared about them.
Surmised that my maddening quest to shower them daily with love and affection was detrimental to other relationships and the output of intellectual products.
Oh well…
Yearned for and reveled in the twinkles that danced in my sweetheart’s eyes when he became the recipient of my attention and adulation, as well as, marveled in the joy emulating from my daughter when she received an overdose of my tenderness and devotion.
Learned no amount of coins and trinkets compares to the ecstasy that I feel when I make them deliriously contented, satisfied, and happy.
Concluded, that the first three quarters of my life, spent “too long” shortchanging my heartstrings.
Using football analogy, now that I am in the fourth quarter of my life and on the cusp of being converted to dust, taking my blessed time brandishing all the love I can muster to my daughter and to my handsome and beloved babe!
Temporarily, fixating on expressing my love—–which is “too long” overdue!
