Wednesday, December 11, 2024
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Orlando

“The Salad”

My 12 year-old daughter, Mantha,  laments with regularity that she’s afraid that by the time she “grows up” there won’t be anybody for her to marry.

So!

Blame the parents, but her sense of discernment is on “high alert” because of the feverish efforts of her caring and dutiful parents who has programmed into her psyche the dangers of marrying an idiot.  There’s no shame to our game—–if you eat our food and drink our milk then you are required to sit, listen, and absorb our sermons.  Case closed.

My sermons are legendary (laugh out loud)!  From the age of two, I have “preached” to my darling daughter that it is felonious for her to “settle” for a fictionalized “pair of pants.”  In other words, don’t bring “Bobby Brown” into your life as you will, predictably, be eternally fettered to him like an indentured servant or slave!

Without an ounce of regret, remorse, or qualms, I proudly wear my “fangs” with a badge of honor.  My cherished daughter is my investment and, as well as, my legacy!  Similar to the treasures of a ruby, diamond, and a pearl or like the George Eliot character, Silas Marner, who zealously guarded and counted his coins, I “eye ball” anything or anyone that cross paths in her life.

Reconnaissance missions follow as she is expected to differentially discern the merits of the person, place, or thing.  If it or they lacks value, then she is required to employ “surface-to-air” maneuvers thus removing it or them from in her world!  End of story and no questions asked.

I suspect that lots of imprisoned males and pregnant females wished that they had a possessive and obsessive looker-on like me who doesn’t “soft shoe” issues and isn’t one who is afraid to howl, bark, or bite its prey.  Can you imagine how differently their kaleidoscope, frontier, and perspectives regarding life would have been?  And, frankly, tax paying citizens could use some relief from the subsidization of government jackasses and government mules!

Demonstrative love isn’t about buying our kids the latest contraption. Heck, our daughter is hard pressed to request such foolishness from us (laugh out loud again).  Instead, demonstrative love is a “care package” filled with labor-intensive advice, as well as, spiritual guidance for impressionable children’s minds, hearts, bodies, and souls.

Mantha, mom and dad are proud of the wisdom and discernment that you are displaying at such the tender age of 12.

Continue to love, adore, treasure, grasp, decipher, and follow the sagely advice from your fuddy-duddy parents (laugh out loud for the third time).

Finally, enjoy the “salad bar” that life will present to you. But also remember, that as you pour the “salad dressing,” from time-to-time, you will be presented with some salad oil, too!

 

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