What happens when you have a group of well-to-do middle-aged women acting like the twenty-something cast of Oxygen’s hit reality show The Bad Girls Club? You get the Bravo hit, The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I admit I am addicted to Reality TV. I watch it all, from MTV’s The Hill’s, to Food Networks Cake Boss, and everything in between. But nothing has unnerved me like the July 12th episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. As a woman of a certain age, 45 if you must know, I was unable to relate to the outlandish behavior of these women.
The show’s only focus seems to be on the past life of victim/villain (depending on whose side you’re on) Danielle Staub. The story picks up last season when the Manzo Family decided Staub was not good enough to travel in their circle. Soon rumors of her past life surfaced and a book written by an Ex was resurrected from the backlist. Now here we are in season 2 and the situation has escalated to verbal taunts, physical attacks, and lines drawn in the sand by friends, community members, and even their kids. You see, no one seems to be immune from this virus.
It has been said that perception is 9/10th’s of our reality. Therefore, if a person perceives something to be true their actions will reflect their beliefs. Danielle believes Caroline Manzo had it out for her from day one. Caroline counters that she knew Danielle was trouble from the start. If ever there was a case study for systematic bullying, this would be it to the nth degree. The players are all here, we have the Queen Bee (Caroline Manzo); she picks up a couple of flunkies (sister Dina, who has since left the show; and sidekick Teresa Giudice) and the target of their ostracism (Danielle). But hold-up, no mean-girls story would be complete without the Pollyanna, (Jacqueline Laurita) who tried her best to focus on the good in Staub against the Manzo’s admonitions. The personalities, the uncouth behavior, juvenile tendencies, outside instigator’s (the 2 Kim’s) and Laurita’s daughter Ashley (whom I think would do quite well on The Bad Girls Club), thrown into the mix; and you have the recipe for the perfect storm.
As viewers young and old weighed in and picked sides I couldn’t help but think this is so high school; no make that middle school or even elementary. But wait, these aren’t kids; they are grown women, mothers, and wives behaving badly. Even as Caroline tries to come across as the oh mighty wise one, she loses credibility as she tries to hide her snickers, and throws her motherly instincts out with the trash as she sympathizes with Ashley. What is this teaching our children, and I wonder who, besides me, used this as a teaching moment to show just how far bullying can go. How many parents pointed out to their kids that no matter what someone has done in their past or is doing now, you don’t have the right to verbally assault them, chase them down in public while screaming hurtful accusations, and under no circumstance is it okay to physically attack someone. Yes, pulling someone’s hair out, whether real or extensions, is physical assault, as Ashley learned the hard way. The method for dealing with people you don’t like is not to deal with them at all.
I guess it’s safe to say that in the world of reality TV, all is fair in the name of ratings, even if it leads to violence or the mental breakdown of a cast member. The smart thing for Danielle to do is remove herself from this volatile situation. She can’t beat these women at this game of calculated mayhem because they will continue to destroy her mental psyche bit by bit. The best way to unseat a bully is simply to walk away and let them believe they have won. By being the bigger woman and walking away to give 100% of her attention to her own two daughters, Danielle will not only show she does have the class she wants us to believe she possesses, but she will leave the others exposed as the pathetic, manipulative, socially inept women they truly are. They have all had the opportunity since the taping of the current season’s episodes to redeem themselves, but it appears they are riding high on their heightened reality fame and as long as viewers keep the ratings up, Bravo is inclined to bring us what we’re begging for…a distraction from our real worlds, even if it is at the risk of showing our children a side of their parents that shouldn’t exist.
Much Love,
Tracy
Tracy L. Darity is the author of the award-winning novel but He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! and her controversial second release Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. For additional information please vist www.TracyLDarity.com.
(c) Tracy L. Darity
