I have a good friend who went to graduated from law school with me who ALWAYS throws out this famous line: “There are ALWAYS two sides to every story!”
Now, this line is not anything special because it’s been used over a million times but I am ALWAYS amazed at how quickly she throws out this comment when something racially or emotionally charged comes rushing out. However, she’s making a powerful point. And NOTHING more powerful than when the police are involved with a particular situation.
What I have found in this Twitter / Facebook / Myspace / Diggs Rennaissance community is that we are always swamped with snap shots of situations but not necessarily the whole picture.
Right now, on most front pages is the arrest of noted scholar Henry Louis Gates. Dr. Gates is a powerfully educated scholar who is African American. Dr. Gates was arrested on his own porch after a highly visible confrontation with a police officer. Instinctively, this arrest defies logic on its face.
But I want to take an opportunity to use this example of how you can find yourself in a unique situation and how that situation can be seen in a variety of different ways. While I do this, I want to draw a comparison between Dr. Gates’ arrest and the NFL Player who was stopped at a routine stop while rushing to see his dying mother-in-law:
1) Recognize, some people may not KNOW who you are. I am not saying that anyone should receive preferential treatment for their actions. However, we as individuals will some times give deference if we are familiar with the person with whom we are dealing. It is important to understand that in some instances you may be dealing with someone who does not know who you are NOR do they care.
2) KEEP COOL! Even though we don’t know all of the facts regarding Dr. Gates, we do know that there was a confrontation. The best thing about the NFL player situation was that a video camera taped the whole incident. In the player’s situation, even though he was getting upset, he didn’t lose his composure (and he had a right to). The player sat there and took that ticket KNOWING that his mother-in-law was dying (that was a real moment where most of us would have probably clicked).
3) Remember the TOTALITY of the circumstances. So many times, we focus on one small aspect of a situation and we MAGNIFY it. However, when you factor in everything before and after that moment, that one small aspect appears SMALL! Remember, your actions before, are just as important as your actions during and AFTER the fact!
4) Your power is based in your ability to remain CALM and COLLECTED! So many times, people are put in the position of wanting to ‘get gangsta’ or ‘click’ but people don’t appreciate how powerful it is for you to ‘maintain your composure’.
5) Always look at the OTHER side! Can you justify what someone else WOULD have done? Take your emotions out of the situation and take a moment to logically look at a situation. Sometimes, we get so fired up after a situation presents itself that we don’t look at the worst case scenario and determine if we would deal with the scenario as the other person did.
Now, I am not justifying the actions of the police or the actions of Dr. Gates. I am merely pointing out that, with any situation, it is important to look at the overall scope of the situation before rendering any type of opinion. We are all educated so continue to allow your self to be educated about a situation.
