Last time we reviewed the five stages of loss many encounter during the grieving process, including los of a job. Unfortunately, the effects of being illegally terminated can leave a bruise lasting a lifetime, let’s hope David is able to find acceptance before too long.
Today’s submission takes a curve as we look deeper into YOU (while concluding behind David’s reflection). For those who have suffered a loss, any type of loss, the grieving process can prove to be a difficult path to eventual emotional recovery. With this said, look in the mirror, open your true identity, and recognize that person looking back is defined by you, no one else.
Your turn: Using the list of stages previously reviewed, explain a career loss you suffered, how it made you feel, and how it affected your personal/family life.
Now that the person looking back is the same person paying attention, continue introspection by responding to the following (only you will be reviewing responses so be honest by expressing the emotional impact the loss created)…
Your turn: I dealt with the above loss by following stages by:
Denial:
Anger:
Bargaining:
Depression:
Acceptance:
Too easy to sweep emotion beneath the carpet, the cost of jarring pain far outweighs the benefit. It’s a huge relief to accept and grow after personal or professional loss.
Truth is, more often than not, how we react to hardships is within you. How do you think David is reacting to his hardship? I think he’s on the right track but he also expressed how the illegal termination will leave a psychological scar for the remainder of his years.
For the record: The emotional journey doesn’t always stop at acceptance; more work is often required.
During the course of conversation with David, I shared this thought: “Time doesn’t take away pain, only texture.” For several minutes David held quiet and then mentioned the following:
David: “While growing up, my grandfather told me that ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes.’”
His lesson appearing obvious: If you are not where you want to be now, strap your boots on and do something about it.
Between stares and silence, I felt it was my turn to bring forth a saying: “The true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
David looked away, his voice faltered, hid momentarily, and then revealed how he was finding it hard to get out of his depression because he felt was used and tossed out the window of a wood-paneled station wagon like a burnt out butt no longer serving a purpose. I asked why he felt that way.
His response was long-suffering, whispery, and haunted by smothering apprehension: “Bertha used me, I feel demeaned each time I remember the discussions and moments we had at the beach; we were alone to the world, just her and I… I listened, consoled, and as she leaned into me, the connection was paralyzing. I was hooked and by the next morning, she had me. I don’t think I’ll get over what I thought was warmth but was only self-serving deceit.”
David went on; detailing events of the evening and conversations during the business trip we’ll share as our journey continues. To say the least, as an objective author and outsider, I am shocked Chity College and Bertha terminated David with such malleolus abandon and without regard to the ripples, personally and professionally.
If you have any questions or would like to add to the journey, contact me directly at [email protected] to see how ECS can help you. Be sure and have your peers join in on the conversation and adventure… they may thank you one very difficult day.
Danny Huffman, MA, CEIP, CPRW, CPCC
Education Career Services: www.edu-cs.com
Blog site: http://careerbreakout.wordpress.com
