Dear Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa:
Orlando and Los Angeles have many similar traits, from our beautiful weather to our theme parks including Disney and Universal Studios and even Shaquille O’Neal.
And we both have Conference Championship teams aiming to be the NBA Champions. It is true, the Lakers have made this trip many times before. But, this year, the Magic have defeated legend after legend, including beating the Lakers twice during the regular season.
Being in Hollywood you might be familiar with the Superman storyline. The Lakers, much like Lex Luthor, having been wreaking havoc on Western Conference teams on your quest for world domination. But, the Magic have a real life Superman in Dwight Howard. As you know, Dwight Howard has proven he is faster than the 76ers, more powerful than the Celtics and able to leap Cavaliers in a single bound. And, you know the story always ends with Superman defeating Lex Luthor.
It is not a secret we haven’t done many of these wagers here in Orlando. Since you have more experience we will keep with your tradition of not wagering on food or humiliating booster outfits. I propose the following deal:
The crown jewel of our City, Lake Eola Park in Downtown Orlando, is one of four places in the world that houses every species of swan. If the Lakers somehow win, we will name one of swans after you.
Additionally, Amway Arena is the home of the Magic and if the Lakers win, we will give you a year’s supply of Amway cleaning products, to help clean up after what is sure to be an intense battle. Since the City of Orlando is facing a challenging budget year, we could use some office supplies. So when the Magic win, we would like a year’s supply of Staples products from the home of the Lakers – the Staples Center.
Since Denver wasn’t able to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, we would also like a star of our own. And for fun, Florida is already known for our retirees, so we don’t need Jack Nicholson. Instead we would like Dyan Cannon courtside as we raise the NBA Championship Banner.
I look forward to your response and a great finals series.
Good luck and Go Magic!
Buddy Dyer
Mayor
