Let the record show that I have a beautiful and intelligent 12 year-old daughter. Also, let the record show that she’s my “favorite” daughter. Finally, let the record show that she is my “favorite” daughter because, obviously, she is my “only” daughter.
Motherhood crept into my life at 43. Prior, I was climbing the proverbial corporate ladder, vacationing in exotic places, pursuing my bucket list, and having a fabulous time.
As my daughter (Mantha) approaches her teen years, I have been thinking, reflectively, about her likely boyfriend and eventual husband selection. Like most “protective” parents, we want only the best mate for our child or children.
For years, my growing apprehension has been that someday she would meet, fall in love with, and marry a “bad boy.” Seemingly, “bad boys” become attracted to “good girls.” So, since her birth, my prayer has been for God to allow me and her dad to live another 50 years so that we can conduct a Dr. Drew intervention in the event “Bobby Brown” enters her life! (lol).
During a recent business trip, I openly expressed my matriarchal worry to a group of associates by revealing that I was seriously considering an unorthodox marriage arrangement for my daughter. In other words, to prevent her from marrying a despicable cad, I wanted to pre-arrange her marriage.
Like you, most of them thought I had lost my mind.
However, there was one exception. Unbeknownst to me, there was another mother in the audience who was awe-struck by the depths of my devotion to my daughter. She, too, had felt the same way about her son and was waiting for fate to introduce her to someone who shared identical thoughts and similar sentiments. Apparently, my daughter fit the bill!
Mantha’s future mother-in-law (I hope) and I talked incessantly about our values, beliefs, culture, goals, religion, politics, and future grandchildren. Amazingly, our checklist, which also consisted of additional hopes and dreams for our children, coincided! Contact information was immediately exchanged and a plan for both families to meet was discussed.
What would drive two, perfectly sane mothers, from opposite ends of the continental USA, to devise ulterior matrimonial plans for each of their children? In my case, I had to kiss a few frogs before I found my prince. Wishful thinking, but if I had had mother wit, I would have wanted a sage to intercede on my behalf and forewarn me about my unwise mate choices.
Additionally, have you seen the divorce statistics lately? Or, have you witnessed the absence of home training, culture, etiquette, goals, aspirations, class, and refinement emanating from kids today? It’s like scraping the bottom of the freaking barrel!
According to investment advisor, Brooke Stephens, “divorce statistics for women of color hovers around 57%.” Conversely, divorce rates hover around 4% for arranged marriages. Bottom line: an arranged marriage is much more successful and is, personally, the way I plan to go!
As Mantha transitions from dolls to Justin Bieber, I am honored that she has acquiesced (for now) to my assistance in the search for an acceptable spouse and life partner for her. Wise beyond her years, she understands that marriage is a major decision which shouldn’t be taken lightly or for granted. A poor selection can have grave consequences for generations.
Yes, Mantha, “mothers do know best.” So, whether I am on earth or in heaven when you exchange your vows, thank you for giving me the privilege of exercising a loving and pragmatic approach to finding someone who is compatible for her “favorite” daughter!
