The Cumulus clouds beckoned an audience as I jetted to Yuma. Couldn’t explain the sudden connectivity to these white, puffy clouds as I am too much of a mousy coward who always refuses to peep from behind the airplane’s window shades once airborne.
This time was remarkably different.
Entranced at the sight of those billowing clouds as they peacefully and playfully bounced into breath-taking circular formations as if they were privately performing a pantomime just for me. Thanked them with my mega-watt smile and a teeny wink.
Still no cryptic message from dad!
Received an onslaught of heartwarming commendations from my dear friends who proclaimed that I should be recommended as a candidate for canonization as they, too, were left incredulously flabbergasted and saddened upon reading my June 30, 2013 article entitled, “Won’t Miss What I Never Had,” which detailed dad’s treatment of me because over the years they had only witnessed a loving and respectful relationship existing between father and daughter.
Second that emotion!
Nevertheless, for edification purposes, unveiled the saga of a dad that I had immortalized, idolized, and had even given “rock star” treatment to throughout my entire life only to have learned upon his death that he was actually a scurrilous imposter and a deceitful scum bag!
Friends and loved ones were also equally startled how I quickly took a “cast iron” approach to this life-altering betrayal by refusing to give further analytical energy and additional alpha waves to the decipherment of this opportunistic schmuck!
Some day, hope they will learn that the prescription to avoiding paralytic immobilizations and schizophrenia is by “looking up!” In other words, as my “turnaround specialist,” have to believe that if “God brings me to it, He will bring me through it!”
Metaphorically, believed that God ushered me a dose of inner peace, serenity, and tranquility while gazing at those Cumulus clouds. As I “looked up,” His reassurance emanated through those clouds and encircled my soul. Similarly to an experienced pilot who expertly lifts the plane above a tempest storm cloud, God signaled that He would elevate me above this storm cloud, too!
Comforted by His promise!
As you know, life will routinely and ruthlessly scald each of us in some form or fashion resulting in our ruptured hearts bearing scar tissues. Failure to immediately rebound from these “rock bottom” episodes, these devastating disasters, and these crippling disappointments will roguishly rummage through one’s psyche thus postponing your quest for a continuance of “magnificently living!”
Refuse to give dad’s traitorous treatment a reserved parking space in my life!
Emerged with additional Herculean strength after reading a poem by the late Lewis H. Latimer. Mr. Latimer could acutely relate to my degradation having been borne in 1848 during a period of time when enslaved blacks were viewed and treated as chattel.
Regardless, Latimer prevailed by establishing himself as a stalwart in his professional avocations as a draftsman, educator, and by patenting numerous inventions to include a “device that improved the bathroom facilities on trains.”
A self-educated man, he loved to read, speak French, develop inventions, write poetry, and theatrical comedies. His poem has fortified my resolve to preserve and not be dragged down by angst, embitterment, or heartache:
Unconquered and Unconquerable
By
Lewis H. Latimer
What tho’ I suffer through the years
Unnumbered wrongs, unnumbered fears
My soul doth still forbid me tears
Unconquered and unconquerable
What tho’ my bed of thorns be made
What tho’ my onward cruise be stayed
My soul soars upward undismayed
Unconquered and unconquerable
What tho’ by chains confined I lie
What tho’ by brutal hands I die
My soul will upward ever fly
Unconquered and unconquerable
I scorn the hand that did me wrong
Tho’ suffering days and years be long
My soul still charts that deathless song
Unconquered and unconquerable
Glanced at dad moments after he was pronounced dead and, ironically, he was “looking up.” Hopefully, during his transition tour from earth, he read my note that was left within those Cumulus clouds.
It simply said—-Forgiven!
