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Body Language: What Did I Say?

Harris pieDid you know that 55% of communication is nonverbal?  That means that without saying a word we are having conversations that we may not even be aware of. Statistically the moment we see someone we decide if we like that person or if we want to do business with them.

Body language and first impressions go hand in hand… which might be to your advantage.

You may have said when you met someone you really liked or really didn’t like, that it was just something about them.  Maybe that “vibe” you were sensing was just the non-verbal conversation you were not aware that you were having.

Based on the enclosed pie chart, only 7% of what you say is actually communicated.  This brings me to another old saying: “Actions speak louder than words.”  In other words: your body language is speaking for you all of the time, whether you know it or not.

Body language expert Janine Driver claims that body communication is different for everyone, but there are similarities when it comes to perception.  When it comes to communication, consider the following three step process:

  • You feel it,
  • you show it (body language),
  • and then you say it.

CC Tip of the Day: How you sit, dress, and walk tells more about who you are than you know.

With your career success in mind, consider the following helpful hints to help you say “HIRE ME!”

First of all, be well groomed and prepared.  Choice of clothing color, style of dress and hairstyle is the very first form of communication.  You must communicate a professional and competent appearance.

Secondly, your body has to speak the language that interviewer wants to see and this begins with, you guessed it, your Smile.  Something as simple as a universal, honest-to-goodness friendly smile can break the ice and generate feelings of wellbeing and confidence.  Make sure that your smile is genuine.

Next is the hand-shake.  The technical term is called Haptic or communicating by touch.  The hand-shake can make or break you.  This form of communication must also be a form of emulation or imitating what the interviewer is doing.  Hold your palm straight and use the same hand pressure and firmness. Let the interviewer decide when it should end.

The eyes have it: How do you feel when someone avoids looking directly at you or doesn’t look you in the eye?  One message may be one of mistrust.  We wonder what is it that they don’t want us to see.  Look your interviewer squarely and calmly in the eye, but not with a stalker or psychotic manner.  The look in your eyes should not show panic or worry, but rather interest and curiosity.

Finally, be aware of your body posture.  Your mother and Grandmother may have told you to sit up straight for many years and maybe you thought they were trying to prevent you from getting scoliosis or having a hunched back.  I’m persuaded that they were preparing you for the moment you go to sit among the great ones.  The ones whose seat YOU may sit in one day. Sitting or standing with your face, head, and shoulders aligned display integrity.  Having your back straight with a slight lean forward denotes interest and that you are listening.

Your paralinguistics or verbal communication is also critical.  Modulate your tone with a steady cadence and a pleasant voice.  Speak clearly and intelligently.  Don’t talk too fast or too loudly, here again you want to match the interviewers pace.

Can you say “semantics?”  Remember: What you say and how you say it definitely matters so use your voice to your advantage.  Is your voice high and squeaky or does it infer confidence?  This is the time to talk about what you can bring to this company and why you are the BEST candidate.

How will I remember to do all of this?  This may seem like a lot to be aware of but trust me, a lot of these actions come naturally, just convey the right message at all times. Remember, more than half of what we communicate is the look on our face and the gestures we make.

So are you still wondering how this can help you get that job? Picture this:

You wake up early and jump out of the bed, today is the day you think. You eat a good breakfast, and take care with your hygiene. You smile at yourself in the mirror. All of your hard work is finally going to pay off!

You’ve got your shoes shined and your favorite shirt and tie. Your suit is fresh from the drycleaners. Today is the day of the interview for your dream job.  Keys?  Check. Wallet? Check. Briefcase?  Checkmate!  You make sure to leave home an hour and a half early so that you can give yourself time to get a cup of coffee and breath mints.  You went to school so that you could ride the golden ticket of your degree to the chocolate factory of employment success.

Feeling empowered and excited, you get to the interview early and give your name to the receptionist.  She directs you to the seating area to wait for the interviewer.  You stand so that you can meet the interviewer from a power position.  The interviewer sees you and says your name, you smile and walk forward confidently.

She extends her hand toward you and you grasp her hand in a warm, firm shake.  “Follow me” she says.  You get to her office and there are two chairs in front of her desk she directs you to take one, you move your chair directly in front of her so that she knows she has your full attention.  What you don’t know is your interviewer is impressed because she has to study body-language and psychology in order to hire the best candidate.  The interview goes smoothly.

All of your preparation and hard work is going to pay off. As you prepare to leave you stand to your feet calmly and thank her for the interview.  You shake her hand and reposition your chair back where you found it.  You reach the door you turn the knob and pull the door open.  As you go out the door your turn and look her in the eyes and you smile again and close the door behind you. Why wouldn’t you get the Job? You have practiced and worked hard.

Everything about you has communicated verbally confidence, skill and integrity and non-verbally your actions have backed it up. So go home and get that thank you note sent, then envision yourself doing what you were born to do….YOUR JOB!

Written and shared by:
Salima Harris
Your CC Connection

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