Is marriage really that difficult? Who am I kidding? Of course it is!
I recently had a discussion about married life with some of my married friends and saw one common thread. Regardless of how old you are, how long you dated , how long you’ve been together, or number of kids you have—marriage is hard work!
Combined, there was more than 122 years of marriage within the group and we all had amazing stories of how we met and courted each other. In the middle of the discussion, it all of a sudden hit me. If couples don’t do what they did in the beginning, which I consider the basics, they won’t make it happily to the end.
Look, let’s be real—most of us went the extra mile to garner the attention of our significant other. We pursued each other in a way that the rushes of emotion made us feel giddy, excited and exhilarated. We wrote love notes, wore special outfits, held hands all the time, exchanged cards, and had special dates and activities.
It’s those basics that make both men and women feel special, needed, loved, cared for and desired. Marriage requires constant stoking or like a fire, it will die. It’s our job to go out of our way to make sure we give our spouse encouragement, attention, time, and heaps of love.
Life happens. Stuff always seems to creep up and get in the way of our connection. Whether it’s kids, careers, broken promises, empty dreams, finances or disappointments, before you know it you’ve drifted away. The challenge is to go back to what we did when we first starting dating. You know what I mean—spending quality time together, picnics, flowers, surprise dinners, massages, holding hands—whatever it is you did.
Constantly share with each other how much you love each other, how much you value each other and how important you are to one another. Lastly, and most significant, remind each other that out of all the millions of people in the world you could have had, you chose him or her.
