(Family Features) – A cost effective and easy-to-install energy savings project could pay back homeowners with significant savings on their home energy bills, according to a new study commissioned by The Dow Chemical Company.

The study found that homeowners save an average of $50 annually on their energy bills by air sealing gaps, cracks and other exposed areas of the home with an insulating foam sealant. Participants of the study showed a return on investment of their product purchase in as little as four months after application.

The study findings indicate that the expected average one-year return on investment for homes using Great Stuff Pro and Great Stuff Insulating Foam Sealants ranged from 145 percent to 2,374 percent, with savings ranging from $26 to $163 depending on application area, cost and quantity of materials.

Project leader Doug Bibee, a 36-year veteran of Dow and member of the company’s Building Solutions group, said the project’s genesis came from a commonly accepted but undocumented belief regarding energy loss.

“There was this generally recognized notion in our industry that air leakage played a big part in energy losses for a typical home. What we couldn’t find any information on was quantifying the energy savings across certain products dealing with air leakage,” Bibee said. “We wanted to know how much air leakage was reduced in certain parts of home using a product like Great Stuff™ Insulating Foam Sealant. It was equally important, however, that products could be used by the average homeowner over the course of a few hours or weekend.”

To help homeowners conduct their own study, the Dow team took common leak locations discovered during the weatherization project and created an Air-Seal Audit Checklist. This document helps homeowners navigate and identify their homes’ own air loss trouble spots and provides further information on the best remedies.

This weatherization project is part of a larger company initiative to quantify the impact of air sealing and insulating, and to educate homeowners about weatherization practices that help reduce a home’s energy consumption.

Visit www.familyfeatures.com/greatstuff to learn more and to get an Air-Seal Audit Checklist.

SOURCE:
The Dow Chemical Company

Potentate William Bass

“The Nobles of the temple have gone through great lengths to make this event one that will be spoken highly of for years to come,” said William Bass, Illustrious Potentate for Ancient City Temple #63.

Some Ancient City History

In 1894, the first Prince Hall shrine (Rabia Temple #8) was established in Jacksonville, Florida during a time when Blacks were not entitled to the same rights and benefits as their mainstream (white) counterparts.  The Nobles of Rabia continue in the distinction as the oldest active Prince Hall Shrine Temple in the state.  However, the late 1800’s also saw the emergence of over a dozen more temples all dedicated to upholding the ideals of Shrinedom even when it was unpopular for Blacks to do so.

Many of the historic temples which were erected in cities such as Palatka, Daytona Beach, Orlando, and Tampa still continue to go about the business of serving humanity simply for humanities sake.  While the membership of some temples has depleted, others have thrived. Ancient City is such a temple.

Ancient City #63 was chartered in 1914 and continues as a torch-bearer for the cause of looking after our fellow man.  The Temple’s name comes from the nickname of the “Nations Oldest City”, once located in St. Augustine, Florida. In 1997 the charter moved 50 miles south to the “City of the World’s Most Famous Beach” and has been here since.

Under leadership of Past Potentates Glenn Franklin and James Howard, the Temple continued its work.  Membership continues to thrive and has swelled to over 25 Nobles under Bass’ tutorage.  For additional information regarding the Nobles of Ancient City Temple #63 got to:  www.ancientcity63.org.

The Potentate Speaks

Potentate William Bass elaborated on the significance of being a Noble.  “We as Nobles are concerned with making strides as a force in the community by participating in community beautification, mentoring for our children, making sure they have the materials necessary to be successful, feeding the homeless and disadvantaged, providing Thanksgiving and Christmas baskets to needy families, and much more,” Bass said.  The biggest work is often what is done behind the scenes in terms of contributions of time, and money. Nobles are charged with digging deep in their pockets and showing leadership by example,” he said.
What in the world is a Potentates ball?

Potentate is simply another term for “Leader” or “President”.  The ball is produced to honor the Potentate for the work he has performed in his capacity as the face of the temple.

Bass noted that the event is also an opportunity for the Nobles to come out in full force and interact with the members of the community they serve.  “All are invited.  Dress code for the event is “after five attire” for ladies and gentlemen.  We are very excited about making this event an enormous success.  We need the community to come out in full force and support.  I expect it to grow with each passing year until it is a premier event in the Daytona Beach area and throughout Volusia and Flagler counties,” he said.

What is the Shrine all about anyway?

Many people immediately identify with the Red Fez worn by Shriners who have participated in parades, community clean-up, and other philanthropic endeavors.  Another way “Nobles” as they are affectionately called, are recognized are because of the hospitals and burn centers bearing the Shriners name. There are 19 orthopedic Shriners Hospitals and four Shriners Burns Institutes throughout North America, all dedicated to providing expert, specialized medical care to children under 18, absolutely free of charge.

Bass said the Shriners hospitals are the tip of the iceberg concerning what the Nobles contribute to communities worldwide.  “Ancient City Temple is currently establishing a “Shriners as Mentors” program to help mentor young men in need of positive role models.  This is in addition to aiding the American Diabetes Association deliver its message to impoverished communities about how diabetes affects our health,” he added.

The Ancient Egyptian Arabic Order Nobles Mystic Shrine of North and South America has a long and colorful history. The first annual session of the newly organized Imperial Council was held on September 25, 1901, in Newark, New Jersey, it was here that a Constitution was formally adopted, establishing the fraternity as it is today, and designating the Imperial Council as a charitable, benevolent, fraternal. and social organization, dedicated to the welfare and extension of Prince Hall Freemasonry, and decreeing that membership in the order be confined to regular freemasons who were members of lodges descended from African Lodge #459 (African Lodge #459 established on September 29, 1784, was formally African Lodge #l formed on July 3, 1776; Massachusetts).

To date- the Worldwide Fraternal Shrine Family has a membership of approximately 35,000 in some 227 Shrine Temples and 200 Courts, throughout the Continental United States, Canada, Germany, Italy, England, Spain, Hawaii, Japan, Korea, Guam, Thailand, Panama, and the Bahamas.

The organization is over 108 years old and was established as an Imperial Council of Prince Hall Shriners on June 3, 1893, in Chicago, Illinois, by 13 Prince Hall Masons under the leadership of John George Jones. Prince Hall Shrinedom embraces all of the basic fundamental concepts of the Masonic Order, but is more colorful, with a broader spectrum of visibility by the manner in which it dispenses charity in the community, and the care for its own.  Shrinedom is thought of as a Fraternal, Social, and Charitable Organization.  Heading the list of recipients is the NAACP, the Legal Defense Fund, the Urban League, and United Negro College Fund, along with Annual Grants to several institutions of higher learning and hospitals throughout the land, for medical and other research projects.
The organization also takes great pride in its Auxiliary, which is composed of wives, sisters, mothers and daughters of the membership – officially styled, the Imperial Court Daughters of Isis.  The daughters recently celebrated 100 years of existence.  Membership in both organizations is dedicated to the principle of fostering civic, economic and educational development programs throughout the world.

To take part in the event or for additional information on Ancient City Temples Annual Illustrious Potentate Ball, contact James Alexander, Chief Rabban at 313-283-5800 or by email at jamesa_518@hotmail.com.

By Karsceal Turner

But one quiet day while taking a drive a bit of truth came to me as I parked my car near a local lake to observe the wonderment of this thing called sailing.

Although that lake had a good amount of sailboats in it what strikes me about the overall “vibe” is that it is so quiet! I mean, there aren’t any motors running to power the sailboat as it is all “fueled” by the gentle breezes that for the most part appear to be almost undetectable. Isn’t that something? Those sailboats may be much smaller than the heavier motor driven boats but they still have weight to them yet even the most gentle breeze can power that boat naturally to go anywhere that the person guiding it wants to go!

Wow!

While these facts are so very obvious, you know how I get when presented with something that most overlook, I just HAD to find the deeper meaning in all of this while I sat there in my car transfixed at this beautiful and peaceful scene.

What did I get out of this? Well, look at it this way, that individual guiding that boat occupied a lake with so many other sailors yet not at any one time did it appear that they were in danger of colliding with one another! Every boat appeared to be in complete control under the guidance of the one who controlled those sails. This required not only the technical skills to navigate the sailboat so excellently, but an “intuition” that guided the skill!

Every person who sailed in that was aware of everyone else who came close to them as they would smoothly bypass each other effortlessly as though this some type of well practiced synchronized well rehearsed production where everyone knew what would happen from one moment to the next!

But how could this be when the winds that fueled this beautiful display of peace and balance came in an unexpected manner and just couldn’t have been a predictable factor in such a well organized activity.

This is where the intuition and skill of the sailor came into play! You see, if he/she wanted to guide that boat from point “A” to point “B” they had to possess the where with all to get there regardless as to which direction the winds blew!

Pretty amazing to say the least…….

And while I do not know the proper terminology that may be used in the sport of sailing I will try my best to convey the point that I am trying to make to the best of my literary abilities.

If the sailor had a wind coming in strong from a northern direction at a particular moment only to experience that strong northern wind change to a weaker breeze coming in from the west before experiencing a strong southern gust, he/she had to make seamless adjustments and act swiftly with those decisions as to avoid capsizing their boat because of their failure to adjust in a timely manner.

No matter what type of wind conditions exist in the vicinity of that lake, the who is in control of that sailboat finds a way to get it to where he/she wants it to go. This definitely requires a mastery, knowledge and control of not only the sailboat but themselves as they must calmly possess nerves of steel if presented with a swift fluctuation in wind conditions…….talk about having FOCUS!!!!!

And although I have never sailed before I can remember way back in the summers of ‘74 and ‘75 being up in upstate New York Camp Treetops in the Adirondack Mountains near Canada, there were plenty of rich kids there who shared with me their love for sailing and explained the challenges that one had when you were in control of that boat. I’ll never forget this one kid nicknamed “Bundy” who lived and breathed sailing, we all were around 11 years old at the time. I can remember him getting permission under adult supervision to take one of the camps sailboats out on the lake; what a display of expertise and skill did HE put on that day! It is something that I will NEVER forget! Not to get off topic but here was an 11 year old kid who had mastered a difficult skill back in 1974 and we have some of our youth who can’t even tell you what time it is off of a traditional clock with hands if there isn’t a digital clock present! I know where ever my old buddy Bundy is, he is quite successful in his chosen area of life. That type of focus that he possessed at such a young age is transferable to any other endeavor in life!

But back to the point in how all of this relates to life…….

How many of us have mastered not only ourselves, but the unexpected winds that have come our way in the form of unexpected life scenarios good and bad?

How many of us have allowed our “boats” or “goals” to become capsized because we lacked the mastery of those necessary skills that would have brought us into our dreams victoriously if only we possessed a little more knowledge to navigate those troubling waters?

If my analogy of the sailboat holds true across the board then we can safely say that there are NO bad situations in this life that can hinder us from advancing, it’s all how we DEAL with them!

In this life the perfect wind hardly ever comes so we have to learn to master the various situations that come our way that may not seem conducive to pushing us to our goals and into our desired reality. Ever hear the term “when life serves you lemons, make lemonade?”

Like that individual who has mastered the sailboat, we must know where it is that we want to go in life or the wind gusts and breezes will take control of our life and we will find ourselves so far away from our original intended goal.

The unexpected wind gusts and strong winds of adversity must be anticipated so that you can know how to prepare for them beforehand, the personal attacks on your job, the manipulations and smear jobs of those who share your D.N.A., and the inner struggles that we all deal with that are hidden from the naked eye.

If the sail on the sailboat were a rigid non flexible apparatus then the joys of sailing would never be realized for very long as the first encounter with a wind that didn’t agree with the angle of the stiff sail would surely capsize it. How many of us get along just fine in life in our various stations that we occupy until someone comes across our path that does not placate us in our ways only to cause us to capsize after the initial clash of personalities? Interesting. This tells me that in order to survive this earthly terrain that we MUST strive to come out of our rigid ways and become more flexible even if feels uncomfortable to “bend” our opinions, daily rituals and way of doing things in order to survive the battle and win the war.

We have to be flexible and think “around” life’s challenges because if we don’t then we will surely be stuck. How many times have we idled in our vehicles behind a bus, ambulance or truck in front of us on the roadway for long minutes thinking that we were in a traffic jam only to find that when you cautiously went around the vehicle in front of you, the road was empty? You then felt a little foolish and maybe angry at yourself for not challenging what appeared to be reality in the first place. It’s okay. It happens to the best of us. Perception is everything and we must always challenge our perceptions so we can take advantage of the strong wind gusts that come our way and allow it to power us on to a faster victory with less effort from us!

Isn’t that something? Did you hear what I said in the previous paragraph? “……with less effort from us!” Really look at those words and what they mean. If the sailor fights AGAINST the wind, he only tires himself out and doesn’t truly get to where he want to go. But if he flows with the energy thrown his/her way, he can capture the momentum of that strong force in the sail and make it benefit HIM for his agenda!

If you fight against that co-worker who is brown nosing for that promotion with the supervisors while attempting to make you look bad, take that person’s energy that they are aiming in your direction and work even HARDER while always complimenting your haters work ethic. The bosses will have NO CHOICE to see the situation for what it is because YOU are not emitting anything negative from your soul to the universe and only good things can come back to you eventually even when it may not seem to get there when you want it, it will ALWAYS be on time!

…….and this is how it is in life, when the attacks come, expected and unexpected we must be so in tune with not only ourselves but our Creator in such a way that the answer will come to us on how to deal with the situation and turn it into an personal advantage. You can’t practice for this type of “knowing”, you must be connected, prayed up with constant meditation and possess a consciousness that is completely in the moment. So much so that everything around you will appear to be in slow motion, enabling you the “time” to act accordingly in a manner that will be of benefit to you in the long term. And as I mentioned earlier a few paragraphs back as in the case of that sailor: “This definitely requires a mastery, knowledge and control of not only the sailboat but themselves as they must calmly possess nerves of steel if presented with a swift fluctuation in wind conditions.” In this case we are not speaking of the wind conditions but the “people” conditions……..mastery, knowledge and control, never forget that!

Think back to when you were a small child who just entered school, when you got angry the entire classroom knew it because you did not possess the maturity or depth of character to hide it and deal with dispersing it in a measure way. You may have yelled, cried and put on a tantrum. Your emotional sailboat capsized and it usually is very difficult at that time to regain your composure from blowing your cool.

But you learned.

Just like that novice sailor who continued to allow the inexperience of how to deal with the wind when he first indulged himself in sailing, after a time he knew from experience when to turn the sail and when to angle it just right to avoid falling into the water.

This is what we must learn to do in life as the various MAJOR HURRICANE CATEGORY WINDS swoop down on our peaceful realities.

ADJUST AND BE FLEXIBLE!

You will find that there is NOTHING to fear coming your way because if you are not the author and originator of the negative energy, it cannot attach itself to you unless you allow it! Like a prizefighter hitting nothing but air against his opponent, they will eventually tire himself out and the victory will be yours for the taking without as much as breaking a sweat or getting a scratch! When you remain positive and in the protective grip of God’s hand, you will never find yourself in a position of defeat, sometimes it may appear to be that way but hang on for the ride and let God do HIS work!

But if you find yourself tempted to play dirty and fight back under your OWN power, you have basically said to God that you are going to do this on your own and He has NO CHOICE but to release you from His grip to learn a hard lesson of who really is in charge in your life. And if truth be told, to go and engage in a “dirty” battle of negativity, realize that you have re-calibrated yourself from the positive forces of the world and have opened yourself up to the negative forces of the evil dark netherworld where ANYTHING can happen to you now!

Stay in God’s sailboat and navigate the turbulent winds easily with His all knowing guidance and you will sail smoothly and safely into your victory without EVER having to sacrifice the dignified manner in which you carry yourself across the face of the planet……know that Satan is ALWAYS out here trying to get your boat to capsize ANY way that he can but to master those winds will ALWAYS keep him under your feet as you praise your Heavenly Father!

www.LanceScurv.com

Julie Gaskins, author of "Worthy: Drinking Hope from a Well of Despair"

A memoir based on many of those hellish memories, “Worthy: Drinking Hope from a Well of Despair” was conceived, grew inside of me and was born on the social networking site, Gather beginning in 2008.

I toyed with the idea of publication for a while. A few Gather readers of it encouraged me to do so.

“I don’t know,” I told myself. “People will be hurt.” I didn’t want to hurt people; at least not the innocent ones. I wasn’t sure about airing my secrets among my very large extended family, much less the general public. I wasn’t even sure how my siblings would receive it.

Still, something pushed me onward. I spent months trying to find an agent to represent it, or a publisher willing to take a chance. I must have seemed sure I wanted to venture forward… but I wasn’t, really.

I signed a contract a few months ago, and in the latter part of July, I was informed that the book will be released on September 7. Since then, I had my share of palpitations and perspiration. No, it is not the allergy and sinus meds or the many-weeks-long heat wave.

It was genuine panic. Intense, blinding panic.

Two weeks ago, I received my first copy of MY book, in the mail. I thought I knew how I would feel when I was able to hold it in my hands, imagining a stranger picking it up and opening it. I was mistaken.

Never in my life had I been so aware of the feel of pages beneath my fingertips, as I am with “Worthy.” I’d been in a panic about it. I’d chosen a publisher which did not provide copy editing services, much less editing. As soon as I had submitted the proofs with corrections a few weeks ago, I began to second-guess myself. But when I opened it and began reading, seeing my own name at the top of every other page, and my poetry and my experiences…  the panic began to subside.

I know it’s not perfect. But it’s a perfectly lovely experience.

I think back to earlier times; to a previous husband who, while I was reading a book called “The Courage to Heal,” written by and for survivors of sexual abuse, kept “putting it away” choosing places in which it was more and more difficult for me to find it. When I asked him why, he asked me, “Aren’t you embarrassed by it?” It was clear that he was.

A few nights ago, I sent the link to my previous blog, “Finding My Voice” to my sister. In her response, she wrote, “I’m constantly struck by how you have managed to turn your early pain into something that becomes beautiful today.”

My son, who “could have been” embarrassed by book, is instead completely supportive; sometimes in talking to him, I think I even detect a hint of pride.

A part of the gift I have been given, with this book, is a cousin to whom I have barely spoken in forty years, reaching out… a sister who can’t “really” understand, but somehow, does…  a newspaper columnist who wants to interview me for my hometown paper because she “could have written a very similar story.”

…a husband who, when I told him I was writing the story and sharing it on Gather two years ago, said, “Are you sure you want to share that kind of thing with total strangers?”

I told him yes, because I felt that was the whole purpose of what I had gone through; that if I kept it inside of me, somehow, the bad guys won.

“All right, then.” My husband told me. I asked him if he was bothered by knowing it was going to be read by total strangers, (hopefully in large numbers) and he said he wished the story hadn’t happened, but he supported me 100% in writing and publishing it… then, on Gather and now, in print.

Still, that wasn’t the gift.

When I was a child, thinking about the bad things which happened to me, I thought it was because there was something evil or defective in me. As I grew up, I told myself that it was better it happened to me than someone else, because I not only deserved it, but was strong enough to survive.

These days, I know the real reason. It’s because, as my sister said, I can take the pain and make something beautiful of it.

The true gift is in knowing that this is my chance to reach people; to tell them that I’m a living, breathing and happy example of the fact that you can hurt, be hurt, lose hope and faith, make all the wrong choices… and somewhere down the road, still have a chance to shine.

I thought it was because I worried so much about making certain I used exactly the right words to perfectly express my thoughts. Often, by the time I had figured out exactly what those words were, the potential listener had moved on, thinking I had nothing to say.

These days, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. In addition, I was blessed with both a very soft voice and a mild speech impediment.  When it was recommended to my mother that she seek speech therapy for me as a child, she passed on the idea, perhaps because I didn’t use my voice much anyway. Perhaps she thought it would somehow get better on its own. It didn’t, and I became more self-conscious. There was this, in addition to having broken one of my adult front teeth just after it came in at the age of six, resulting in my having a silver cap for the rest of my childhood. As a result, I normally chose just to keep my mouth closed. There was nothing so important that I would risk being ridiculed.

Somewhere along the way, I learned to write, and figured out that I was relatively good at it. At that point, whenever possible, I just put pen to paper when I had something really important to say. No one made fun of me when I wrote. The other students groaned when given a written assignment; I glowed. I knew that was my chance to shine. Making certain my handwriting was flawless, I was guaranteed an “A” every time.

Unfortunately, writing didn’t serve me well when I got older. Married at eighteen to a man who demanded subordination, I gave it up when he decided that I could only write if he could dictate the content. I was unwilling to write what he wanted, and giving it up seemed a small price to pay for peace within my home. After all, he could not control my mind (at least not completely) and I was still able to think “like a writer.” He might still call me stupid; he may even succeed at making me feel that way, but I was smart enough not to show him what I really felt. A vicious verbal attack, brilliant sunset or my infant son’s smile might not cause me to take pen to paper, but the words flowed inside my head, and that was satisfaction enough. He couldn’t take that from me.

When I escaped that marriage some ten years later, I was certain that I would write again. When stirred by emotion, I would grab my notepad, with a flood of thoughts and words and descriptions anxiously flowing through me, until I touched the pen to the surface of the paper. Suddenly, I would become fearful and mute. I knew on a conscious level that it was “safe” but I couldn’t shake the feeling that by expressing my thoughts, I was opening myself up for abuse. It became a twenty-two year attack of writer’s block, and even when it passed, most of the words were clumsy and awkward.

At forty-two, I decided to go to college. My first writing course was difficult, in the beginning. Then, my mind absorbed the fact that the trouble would only come if I did not write. The first paper I turned in was a week-long struggle, but it earned me a grade of 98%, even after decades of inactivity. Thereafter, it became easier with each paper. The final exam consisted of re-writing any paper we had already submitted during the semester. The instructor stated the assignment in class, and then looked directly at me and said, “Julie, none of your work needs or ought to be re-written. Write me any paper, of any length, on a subject of your choosing.” My final score for the course was an A, and if I was looking for a confidence-builder, she had handed it to me, no holds barred.

After all the years I’d spent keeping my thoughts to myself, (most especially when I had something important to say,) the floodgates were opened.  I’ve come to realize in recent weeks that I owe this all to my ex-husband. He may have succeeded in stilling my “voice” for twelve years, but having regained it, it is ever more strong and powerful. I find that there is now always something to say. Whether the subject is domestic abuse, cooking, politics, religion, health care, science, animal welfare… I always have an opinion, and I will use my “voice.”

No one has to agree with me. They don’t even have to listen to me if they don’t want to, but I will never be “silenced” again when I have something I feel is important to say, or when it may make a difference to someone, even if that someone is just me.

Two shots of whisky, check. Did I take my anti-anxiety medication? No, I forgot.  Well then I guess I can’t write a scathing article about my family this week. Not that I’ve ever wrote a scathing article about them before, but some seem to feel like I have.

When last we met: I was discussing the dichotomy of the American family and how we see our own faults in them, thus we project our inner turmoil outwards and wind up fighting over something stupid. What we’re really trying to say is “I hate myself and you look just like me.”  It was a generalization using my own experiences as an example, yet some people felt it was more personal. Therefore a bunch of family members are now mad at me because of an article I wrote about how we hate family most of all. Ugh, the irony.

I think what strikes me most curious about this is: who reads the crap I write anyway? Well, there’s Keith and Gillian (Thanks for everything you two) and then my wife and father in-law. Can’t forget Amanda who is, I guess officially my first fan, as long as one day I can introduce her to Drew Brees.  Then apparently my grandmother reads my articles after they’ve been circulated around my family long enough and everyone has told her what a dick I am.  Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a dick already, no one has to remind me.

My mother thought what I wrote was great. She actually understood the point I was trying to make as far as general roles family members play in each other’s life.  She understood I was not calling her out, but making a point.  Do you think Ray Romano gets crap from his family after his show was on for years making light of his mother and father’s tawdry quirks? Believe me, if my family had any more tawdry quirks we could open up a tawdry quirks shop (ten points if you get that reference). Ray Romano is a multi-millionaire who probably bought his mother a big house and a Bentley.

So, there it is I guess.  I have to make it big, buy my grandmother a house and a Bentley and I’ll buy my uncles, Jeff and Joe, one because I used their names. But, the rest of them whom I didn’t name (or even mention at all) I’m buying Hyundai Sonatas, I’m not Ray Romano here.

Lastly, I would just like to state for the record and I’m not scared to say this again, just to make it clear: families are freaking crazy! They are judgmental and aggravating most of the time and make you have to explain what the hell you meant, even though you thought it was clear and inoffensive.  In the words of Marshall Mathers: “You find me offensive? I find you offensive for finding me offensive.” There! Break your way out of that logic and twist it until I do offend you. I think you’ve got your work cut out for you.

Julie Gaskins

From Worthy:

“The worst thing about prostitution,” the blogger poses, “is that it is illegal.”

I feel the ire begin to build inside of me. How could he say this? I want to ask him, “How do you know how a prostitute feels?”

What I write instead, is “The worst thing about prostitution is that it’s so often a result of child abuse. Abused children grow up feeling ashamed, and are far more likely to let themselves be further exploited. Prostitution is a very natural step for them.” But there is a troubling word, at the end of my statement… “them,” as if I am speaking about others. That’s when I realize that I need to disclose my own truths. If the shame must be eradicated, it must begin somewhere. Perhaps it can begin with me. I begin to pen an essay, which takes on a life of its own…

Gaskins has been writing since kindergarten, about her small world, and later about her hopes and dreams. These days, she writes to share a wealth of life experiences with kindred souls and other readers, in hopes of shining light in the dark places of shame, fear and misunderstanding.

In 2006, she found herself, for the first time in her life, having time on her hands, and the bits and pieces she had written over the years began to intertwine and grow, the drive taking on a life of its own.

Julie’s work is of a personal nature; she writes it in an effort to understand, and shares it in an effort to be understood.  She shares her life in Florida with a man who supports and encourages her work. Between them, they have three grown children and several grandchildren, two cats and a Yorkshire Terrier.

I am now in the moment. Every second that passes feels like it is taking five seconds to go by. My thinking is swift. I can see through the intentions of those who approach me with hidden agendas. It is in these times when I feel this way that I can get so much accomplished. It is such a natural high. It is times like this that is actually the culmination of all of the healthy mental, physical and spiritual habits that I have made a point to include in my daily life.

When the Bible speaks of “spirits” that wander about the earth seeking to devour, we know that it is something unseen to the eye that we wrestle with every single day of our lives. But most individuals do not understand that those very smiling faces you so easily allow into your private space and inner circle potentially contain these wayward evil entities that you would otherwise seek to avoid!

They enter into your life in the manner of a Trojan horse, masked with a smile and armed with a cold vicious intention that you never knew they could ever have possessed until hopefully not too late. They can pass through your life in a swift moment, doing a lifetime of damage in the twinkling of an eye just as well as they could tarry on over the years and pretend to be a friend, waiting for the most opportune moment to assault you in the most lethal of ways.

But in hindsight after such a shocking assault and violation of what was once considered a cherished friendship, you realized that you ignored those subtle signs that were indicators of the bigger issues that lurked beneath the pristine surface of their paper thin facade.

God doesn’t leave his delicate creations in nature without protection. Those beautiful flowers have thorns. The egg that contains a delicate life germ has a shell. The bee has a stinger. The cat has its claws. Therefore, our Creator has equipped us with the gift of discernment, it works wonderfully one hundred per cent of the time.

The reason why we get ourselves into bad situations from the poor choices we make is that we have disconnected ourselves from that divine mechanism that would have prevented us from falling into that sorry situation in the first place!

You MUST always keep yourself centered everyday, especially as you leave your home. If you are not totally prepared, motivated and focused on what YOUR mission is on that particular day, your energies WILL be usurped for another entities purpose! So to be clear on what your purpose is for that day, but remember, you have to KNOW what your goals are as well as its value in the overall scheme of your personal mission.

Guard you precious and limited energies. Do not waste time and the resources of your enthusiasm by babbling with a foolish soul who will only deplete you because they cannot conceptualize the broad scope and depth of your dream. If they want to argue that it can’t be done, let them talk, they will SEE its manifestation soon one day and will be unable to argue with the proof of living breathing accomplishment that was born out of your blood, sweat and tears!

Protect your ears at all times! People who harbor negative spirits love to invade your space and throw off a word that will permeate your psyche in order thwart your righteous efforts. They know that to upset your thinking from what you are focused on is the first step in bringing you down to their level of inactivity.

Positive energy begets positive energy. Find yourself around others who are striving for advancement in some positive arena in their lives. Look for individuals who spend their time wisely and avoid those who waste precious time as though they have all the time in the world to blow. the most frustrating aspect of getting older is realizing all of the time that you wasted that could have been utilized toward something lasting and edifying. DON’T become one of those people….it is NOT a good feeling!

This advice goes for those in potential relationships. Do NOT think for one second that because someone looks good or talks good that they ARE good! This is not to say that one should be in a state of paranoia 24/7 but in fact if you happen to be in THIS day and age, it might not be a bad thing!

Lol!

But when you join on with someone in Holy Matrimony or even in a sexually charged sin laden overnight rendezvous for which I wouldn’t recommend, you must realize that there are forces at work unseen to the eye that are not only binding but very potent as well!

When you as a woman go to bed with a dumb man, you wake up a little more stupid, and vice versa! There are things too vast for our limited minds to grasp on this level so that is why it is said that we must TRUST in what God tells us to do! There are strict laws to our mental, physical and spiritual well being that we MUST submit too and when we do although we will be on the level that our creator wants us to be on, we will appear larger than life and superhuman to those who practice the worldly laws of death!

How can one discern spirits when your body is clogged up trying to digest the cursed flesh of a pig? How can one have total focus when lust blocks the windshield of the third eye from focusing on the task at hand? How can one truly love when envy rules all other sides of their life?

It’s time to stop explaining away those hidden faults that we hide so well and instead of hugging them up and becoming cozy with them, look then dead in the eye, stop giving them power over you, demand better of yourself and rid them from your life……..and in exchange for your efforts your creator will replace the old clunker of a life with one that is shiny and new for the rest of your existence!

And yes, this goes for those toxic relationships too that you can’t seem to let go! Stop tolerating the crap that’s draining you down because you are hooked on something that you may feel is salvageable in them. Some of you men may tolerate a woman who you KNOW is just using you but because you are weak for her “head game”, you just keep on doling out the cash while the disrespect she displays while she brazenly plays with other men continues to irk the hell out of you.

Some of you women may feel that you have to stay with a man because you can’t make it on your own…..”What am I going to do with the little money I make? Live on the streets?” But it’s better to live in the streets for a time and gain the strength necessary to pick yourself up than having to go every other month to the local clinic to deal with the S.T.D’s that are being delivered to you in a so called relationship of convenience that is destined to have you lowered soon in a casket when you get something that you can’t get rid of!

Refrain from the foolishness of this world in order to allow the power of discernment that you already possess to make your life easier, to avoid the unnecessary and very much avoidable bumps in the road and to live beyond the great potential that God has put in all of us!

www.LanceScurv.com

These irresponsible leeches waltz through life so carefree and dapper with the greatest of ease knowing that they have total access to your vast financial (They always seem to think you have a secret money stash even when you might be broke!)  resources and tapping into it is just a mere phone call away!

While you have some unstable lazy family members who feel they are empowered to purchase “any car on the lot” or take their pals out for a “night of drinking” while expecting you to cosign the note or foot the tab because of YOUR good credit, assets & work history! Why are they the ones who are so fast to want to “treat” the masses like Jesus did with the fish and bread by dispersing your resources generously without even having the courtesy to ask?

Imagine coming home tired but ready to cook a great turkey dinner only to hear that “Sister Needy came over earlier when you were at work  (Why can’t they be at work too?) and told me her ‘fridge was empty, so I gave her those two turkeys out of the freezer and two bags of groceries to hold her over until the weekend.” (Hold her over! Does she plan on coming BACK?)

Now YOUR plans must change because this virus of a person took charge and made decisions with YOUR food! And even IF Sister Needy NEEDED the stuff, at least someone could have called your job. Heck, you get calls at the job when the CABLE is cut off don’t you?

And that Sister Needy (We all know one like her!), she always comes around when you are not around to ask for something because she knows that she will GET IT quicker from the freeloader in your home because he/she has the strong need to be in a position of being in charge and to feel important! But that’s ANOTHER story and blog subject! LOL!

It doesn’t always have to be a family member or and in-law, it could also be friends! How many of us have known of a person (Or maybe ourselves) who took in a female friend who has endured for years in an abusive relationship getting physically beat down on a regular basis as well as the mental and emotional abuse?

You thought that you were doing a good thing as you allowed her full and total access to your home so that she could at least have a few weeks of quiet time to heal up and figure out the best direction for her life to take. You’ve pleaded with her for years to escape the abuse as her growth on the personal and professional fronts have all but come to a halt because of her connections to this man.

You’ve spent endless hours soothing her as she cried out her pain.

You’ve given her money as she needed even when she DIDN’T ask you.

She seems to be getting better but as she does, you found out from a mutual friend that she was seen at the mall with her abusive boyfriend holding hands and acting lovey dovey.

You realize that you are being taken for a good ride! The irony is that after she left without even as much as a thank you, you were told how bad she spoke of you and shared whatever insignificant personal little inside secrets that she was privy to learning of when she was there.

What took the cake was when you heard from a mutual friend that the reason you tried to tell her not to go back to that abusive man was because you were jealous of her and didn’t want to see them together!

Now two months later she shows up to your door again with TWO black eyes telling you that she has no where else to stay…….

She would then be immediately directed to the nearest park bench or homeless shelter seconds before the door slammed in her face………

Now!

Back to the “in-house” family dead beats…….

If they could, most will find themselves happily luxuriating in YOUR home, laid back on the sofa with their musty toe jam sportin’ feet up on your coffee table and the brand new “all in one” remote control in their hand (And they know how to work it better than you do, that’s why you have to always ask THEM how to use it!) enjoying the fruits of your labor while YOU work two and three jobs! Your home has become an extended stay flophouse hotel and you are the last to know or even worse haven’t the slightest clue.

Once they are secure with their claws embedded deep into your tired work fatigued buttcheeks, they will now display the brazen traits of a person made to feel secure by your lacking the testicular fortitude to set the record straight about the rules and regulations that you were SUPPOSED to have them completely understand and established long before they set foot into your home as you’ve allowed them to turn a mere visit into an official LIFETIME ADOPTION!

I’ve heard one case of a jobless dead weight family member at home having the nerve to call their step father’s job to tell him that the cable has been cut off and he needs to know where the money stash is to be able to pay the cable guy right there on the spot because he can’t afford to miss the game that will be on soon! Can’t afford to miss the game?

Don’t make me say the “N” word!

Dang! You can’t afford to even take care of your OWN non productive self yet you have the nerve to call another man while he is working to keep a free roof over YOUR head to ask for HIS money so you can sit back and watch a game! I say we need to keep the “N” word in circulation for people like THIS! For there is no word too harsh nor too cutting for a sad example of a person such as this!

They even push their chest out so proudly to the world with a stolen sense of accomplishment from the achievements that YOU’VE earned and sacrificed  with sweat, blood and tears over the years for! Every victory earned and accomplished personally by you (Promotions & raises!) makes their heart joyous because that’s less required of them to achieve! They revel in your success, why not? Its more for them to take FROM you! This is why they will treat you so well when you have a life threatening illness, they want to strengthen their argument to the other leeches who masquerade as caring family members so that if you kick the bucket, they can stand strong in the argument that THEY deserve your possessions!

You become the face of the enemy when you break the lifetime chains of dysfunction and demand accountability! You become the enemy even more so if it is a situation that you joined onto was through marriage or shacking up, you see, after the initial “love fest” assimilation period is over with your in-laws, you will learn how much love they really have for you when you do not fall into place as an brand new “out the box” super enabler to the preexisting state of imbalance through co dependence and the dysfunctions that are inherited to the younger members of that family.

The do nothing freeloaders who are motivationally deficient have shrewdly warped the perceptions of the rest of their family members against YOU in order to position themselves to maintain their slothful access to YOUR resources as they treat the righteous concepts of accountability and responsibility as four letter words!

These other family members will foolishly and automatically attack you because in comparison to that leech who started it all, they are at least a known component and not like you who are a new ingredient to the salty soup that is THEIR family!

Communication is the key, so when you find an individual who has situations within their family where they do not communicate, realize that this is a terrible sign indeed!  I have personally experienced families who practice what I call mass generational non-communication, and the results to their lives have been literally disastrous!

You can look them dead in the eye and make a very important inquiry and they will sit right there in front of you and refuse to answer!  I refused to accept this type of madness and have personally tossed those types right out of the front door!

Who cares if the rest don’t “love” you anymore, this can’t bother you when you always knew that they really never loved you in the first place! LOL!

So, if you as much as SNIFF the potential for something like this to transpire in your life with a family that you hope to join unto, I say make sure the boundaries are set and make sure that NO ONE is allowed to bring their sick practices and delusional expectations up under your roof for as long as you live! Your peace of mind, well being and happiness depend on you taking action in not ever being used in this manner!